Each morning during the work week the Hubbs and I meet at
the table to eat breakfast and read the word of God together. This week we
finished our study of Proverbs. I have read Proverbs 31 several times but my
heart was tugged to dive in, dig deep, study hard, apply knowledge, and share
with others. So let’s do this!
Let us begin with the first few verses…
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than
rubies.” {Proverbs 31:10}
According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a person, in
this case a wife, of noble character is someone having, showing, or coming from personal qualities that people admire. Such
as honesty, generosity, courage, etc.
When you read such characteristics you can’t help but want
to know someone like her, be someone like her and the great news is you can! We
need to surround ourselves with women who live out these characteristics in
their daily lives, read the Word of God, and seek the Lord in some daily down
time! If you can’t think of a particular woman or group of women to surround yourself
with then pray for the Lord to bring them into your life. You’ll be amazed at
how quickly they’ll appear.
Let’s continue forward with the next verse.
“Her husband has full confidence (safely trusts) in her and lacks
nothing of value.”
{Proverbs 31:11}
I find one of the most important key words in this verse is
that of confidence. Her husband doesn’t just have confidence but full
confidence. In other translations it is written to say trusts, or even better, safely
trusts. When I first read this piece I took confidence as being sort of proud
of her, confident of her abilities, which is true, but when looking into other translations
and reading “trusts” rather than “confidence”, then I had a better understanding
of the context of confidence. At least for the lesson the Lord has for us this
week.
Dictionary.com defines “Confidence” as {1} trust or faith in
a person or thing {2} a trusting relationship {3} that which is confident; a
secret.
Our husbands want to trust our words. They want to trust
when they are vulnerable or weak that we won’t share it with the world. They
want to trust that you won’t throw them under the bus in the first moment of
frustration. They want to trust and have confidence that your word is true,
it’s pure, and it brings life not death. They want to trust that when you say
you are going to do something that you will, that your words are not empty.
When I read these verses above the Lord revealed two
examples to me and I would like to share them with you know to help you
understand the point I am trying to make. Let’s first start with what we should
avoid.
I know some women, as I am sure you do too, who do nothing
but complain about their husband. The second they sit down at a table with their
friends, sometimes to even strangers, negative words just come spewing out like
a broken dam. There were times that, had I not known the man they were talking
about personally, would have received the completely wrong idea of who they were.
Not really fair is it? Discussing things they dislike about him, making fun of
things he does or says, or how they fail at things left and right. I often
think back on those times and wonder how those women would have felt had they
known their husbands did that about them or better yet, how would their
husbands feel?
Now, as I typed that past paragraph I felt called to say
that there is a time and a place to discuss with your mentors, close friends, women’s
group, things that may be upsetting you and needing wise counsel on but that
can be a fine line. If you are questioning if you have crossed the line I feel
that it is important to ask yourself the following questions:
·
Is this an issue that my husband has told me in
confidence?
·
Have I discussed the issue with my husband and/or
taken this to the Lord?
·
What is my motive in the words I am about to
speak of my husband? Is it to seek wise counsel or is it to get a laugh or
sympathy from those listening?
·
Is this venting? Complaining? Nagging? Bashing?
·
Would he approve of me sharing this about him?
It can be easy to get caught up when other wives are cutting
up about things their husbands do or when you have that thing he said last
night playing over and over in your head and you just have to tell SOMEONE and
it happens to be the checker at the grocery store. I want to encourage you to
always use your judgment as to whether something is worth sharing or not.
Please tell someone if your relationship is abusive and seek
help. Do not keep such things tucked and hidden away. As sisters in Christ we
want to love you and protect you the way we are called to! We want you safe,
happy, and healthy!
So let’s take a look at a woman, whom I have recently met,
that I feel is a beautiful example of what this verse is describing for us.
This woman always speaks such passionate, loving, confident
things about her husband. She always brags on his character and how he is for
her and her children. She has shared struggles he may face so that we could
pray for him and her in the situation but this was not something that he would
be mortified if he knew others knew. While there are times people boast in a
false way about their relationship, you can tell her genuine heart behind each
word spoken because it is right there on her face, backed with a smile and warm
glow. I want to be like her.
Now, I don’t want to neglect the last bit of that verse
states that he, “lacks nothing of value”.
When our husband can trust our words, our motives, our hearts he can value the
strength of communication his wife holds. Value is defined as {1} the regard
that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of
something.
You see ladies our husbands want to safely trust us. Trust
that we will have his back, that we will not speak badly of him, that we won’t expose
him but rather build him up and believe in the man he is called to be! Let’s
speak life over our husbands!
I want to encourage you with this. Do a heart check this
week and ask the Lord to reveal if you are a wife who perhaps shares more than
they should or if you are the woman who is walking out the call of being the
wife her husband can safely trust? It’s okay if you have crossed that line a
time or two or ten because you have the chance to change that now! You can be
the keeper of your husband’s integrity, how others view him, and his most
private details. Seek wisdom and guidance from Godly wives, be intentional, and
cling to the Father who knows your heart and can help you work through
anything!
Also, how can I pray and encourage you? Shoot me an e-mail sdbredemeyer@gmail.com
Be blessed sweet sisters!
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