Sunday, November 24, 2013

Her Husband Safely Trusts....

Over the last few months the Lord has placed a passion within my heart to fully seek out the definition of the biblical wife. So I started “liking” pages on Facebook, reading various blogs on the subject, and even subscribed to a daily prayer e-mail. Reading these posts and e-mails are some of my most treasured times of the day. But I want to do more than just read. I want to study, apply, and grow! I want to inspire other women, help other wives through their struggles, celebrate in their victories, and let them know that it’s okay to be a little messy along the way.

Each morning during the work week the Hubbs and I meet at the table to eat breakfast and read the word of God together. This week we finished our study of Proverbs. I have read Proverbs 31 several times but my heart was tugged to dive in, dig deep, study hard, apply knowledge, and share with others. So let’s do this!

Let us begin with the first few verses…

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” {Proverbs 31:10}

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a person, in this case a wife, of noble character is someone having, showing, or coming from personal qualities that people admire. Such as honesty, generosity, courage, etc.

When you read such characteristics you can’t help but want to know someone like her, be someone like her and the great news is you can! We need to surround ourselves with women who live out these characteristics in their daily lives, read the Word of God, and seek the Lord in some daily down time! If you can’t think of a particular woman or group of women to surround yourself with then pray for the Lord to bring them into your life. You’ll be amazed at how quickly they’ll appear.

Let’s continue forward with the next verse.

“Her husband has full confidence (safely trusts) in her and lacks nothing of value.”

{Proverbs 31:11}

I find one of the most important key words in this verse is that of confidence. Her husband doesn’t just have confidence but full confidence. In other translations it is written to say trusts, or even better, safely trusts. When I first read this piece I took confidence as being sort of proud of her, confident of her abilities, which is  true, but when looking into other translations and reading “trusts” rather than “confidence”, then I had a better understanding of the context of confidence. At least for the lesson the Lord has for us this week.

Dictionary.com defines “Confidence” as {1} trust or faith in a person or thing {2} a trusting relationship {3} that which is confident; a secret.

Our husbands want to trust our words. They want to trust when they are vulnerable or weak that we won’t share it with the world. They want to trust that you won’t throw them under the bus in the first moment of frustration. They want to trust and have confidence that your word is true, it’s pure, and it brings life not death. They want to trust that when you say you are going to do something that you will, that your words are not empty.

When I read these verses above the Lord revealed two examples to me and I would like to share them with you know to help you understand the point I am trying to make. Let’s first start with what we should avoid.

I know some women, as I am sure you do too, who do nothing but complain about their husband. The second they sit down at a table with their friends, sometimes to even strangers, negative words just come spewing out like a broken dam. There were times that, had I not known the man they were talking about personally, would have received the completely wrong idea of who they were. Not really fair is it? Discussing things they dislike about him, making fun of things he does or says, or how they fail at things left and right. I often think back on those times and wonder how those women would have felt had they known their husbands did that about them or better yet, how would their husbands feel?

Now, as I typed that past paragraph I felt called to say that there is a time and a place to discuss with your mentors, close friends, women’s group, things that may be upsetting you and needing wise counsel on but that can be a fine line. If you are questioning if you have crossed the line I feel that it is important to ask yourself the following questions:

·         Is this an issue that my husband has told me in confidence?

·         Have I discussed the issue with my husband and/or taken this to the Lord?

·         What is my motive in the words I am about to speak of my husband? Is it to seek wise counsel or is it to get a laugh or sympathy from those listening?

·         Is this venting? Complaining? Nagging? Bashing?

·         Would he approve of me sharing this about him?

It can be easy to get caught up when other wives are cutting up about things their husbands do or when you have that thing he said last night playing over and over in your head and you just have to tell SOMEONE and it happens to be the checker at the grocery store. I want to encourage you to always use your judgment as to whether something is worth sharing or not.

Please tell someone if your relationship is abusive and seek help. Do not keep such things tucked and hidden away. As sisters in Christ we want to love you and protect you the way we are called to! We want you safe, happy, and healthy!

So let’s take a look at a woman, whom I have recently met, that I feel is a beautiful example of what this verse is describing for us.

This woman always speaks such passionate, loving, confident things about her husband. She always brags on his character and how he is for her and her children. She has shared struggles he may face so that we could pray for him and her in the situation but this was not something that he would be mortified if he knew others knew. While there are times people boast in a false way about their relationship, you can tell her genuine heart behind each word spoken because it is right there on her face, backed with a smile and warm glow. I want to be like her.

Now, I don’t want to neglect the last bit of that verse states that he, “lacks nothing of value”. When our husband can trust our words, our motives, our hearts he can value the strength of communication his wife holds. Value is defined as {1} the regard that something is held to deserve; the importance, worth, or usefulness of something.

You see ladies our husbands want to safely trust us. Trust that we will have his back, that we will not speak badly of him, that we won’t expose him but rather build him up and believe in the man he is called to be! Let’s speak life over our husbands!

I want to encourage you with this. Do a heart check this week and ask the Lord to reveal if you are a wife who perhaps shares more than they should or if you are the woman who is walking out the call of being the wife her husband can safely trust? It’s okay if you have crossed that line a time or two or ten because you have the chance to change that now! You can be the keeper of your husband’s integrity, how others view him, and his most private details. Seek wisdom and guidance from Godly wives, be intentional, and cling to the Father who knows your heart and can help you work through anything!

Also, how can I pray and encourage you? Shoot me an e-mail sdbredemeyer@gmail.com

Be blessed sweet sisters!

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